Romantic attraction and conflict negotiation among late adolescent and early adult romantic couples

In a sample of 35 couples (college students, aged 18–24) who were dating for no longer than six months, each partner was given a semi-structured interview to assess the nature and intensity of romantic preoccupation with his or her lover. In addition, partners were jointly given a revealed differences task in which they were asked to discuss the issue of their highest disagreement and to arrive at an agreement. Findings suggested that higher levels of romantic preoccupation are related to partners’ inclination to downplay their disagreement and to negotiate their differences less successfully. The same assessment six weeks later showed that where levels of romantic preoccupation among romantic partners stayed stable, the partners showed an increasing capability to recognize and face their disagreements and even a tendency to better negotiate disagreements started to emerge. Findings of this study suggest that two processes operate within a bond between romantic partners. The first process refers to the attraction or preoccupation between partners and the second refers to the quality of conflict negotiation that evolves over time. Where at the initial stage of a romantic bond the attraction process overshadows partners’ ability to acknowledge and deal with differences, the two processes develop differently over time.