I sort of pay back in my own little way’ : managing independence and social connectedness through reciprocity

There is increasing emphasis in the media, public and policy discourses about the implications of the ageing population on promoting independence and selfreliance in old age, which is linked to the importance of social connection and the dangers of social exclusion. This paper examines how the potentially contradictory moral imperatives of independence and connectedness are managed by older people through reciprocity. Thirty-six interviews were conducted with people aged 55–70 years in New Zealand, and the data have been analysed discursively. Older people drew upon social conventions of independence as well as describing firm ties to family and community. One way in which the contradictions between the discourses of independence and connectedness were managed was through the notion of reciprocity. This allowed the participants to describe their lives as linked to others through acts that benefited both parties, constructing both a sense of connection and a rejection of the position of dependency on others. Using this linguistic resource has both possibilities and limitations for older people’s attempts to manage a moral identity as they age. Although many approaches can be used to construct an equal relationship between people, a commitment to reciprocity in social exchanges may restrict older people from accepting help if they do not see the interactions as contributions to others.