Calibrating the Sociometer: The Relational Contingencies of Self-Esteem

A longitudinal daily diary study examined how chronic perceptions of a partnerʹs regard for oneself might affect the day-to-day relational contingencies of self-esteem. Married partners each completed a diary for 21 days, and completed measures of satisfaction twice over the year. Multilevel analyses revealed that people who chronically felt more positively regarded compensated for one dayʹs acute selfdoubts by perceiving greater acceptance and love from their partner on subsequent days. In contrast, people who chronically felt less positively regarded by their partner internalized acute experiences of rejection, feeling worse about themselves on days after they feared their partnerʹs disaffection. Over the year, such self-esteem sensitivity to rejection predicted declines in the partnerʹs satisfaction.